The end of August and the beginning of September exploded into a giant blur of Busy. From moving, to filming, to day job, to getting settled, to new and old friends, it became insanely overwhelming. Eventually things calmed down and yet I still found myself putting off all the tasks that had become routine only a couple months prior.
I tried to take time out. Write out checklists of everything I needed to accomplish. "This week," I would tell myself, "I'm finally getting back into the swing of things." So far I have three of those checklists either partially or completely unchecked.
I've gotten to the point in life where I thankfully don't beat myself as harshly for mistakes as I would have in the past. It's completely pointless. It won't accomplish anything good. This is why it was easy to forgive and allow myself a bit of a break for a couple weeks. But now that those weeks are over and I've finally got time on my hands, why oh why am I still putting things off? I LIKE how I feel when I'm getting things done. I LIKE accomplishing things. I LIKE how I feel about MYSELF when this is all happening. So why do I not just DO them?
I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. We all do it whether it's going to the gym or yoga or eating healthy or keeping things organized or whatever it is that is your "I AM AWESOME AND ACCOMPLISHING EVERYTHING AND MY LIFE RULES AND I AM GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD" type routine.
It reminds me of this amazingly perfect entry from Hyperbole and a Half: This is Why I'll Never be an Adult.
The good news is, just writing this is a step in the right direction. I'm slowly but surely heading in the right direction. I know I WILL get back on track. I'm just still curious as to why we do this to ourselves. Constantly. Anyone have any scientific studies they care to point out? Anecdotes? Care to Commiserate? Share in the comments!
Perhaps tomorrow I will CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!!!! But...I still don't think I'll ever truly be an adult.